What's in a Name!

There are these things which seem so little or trivial but actually is so strong in its impact and intent.  

At the end of every big discussion we realize that it's after all a list of small things that needs to be looked into. 

When David and I started talking a few years ago, there were certain casual statements and major discussions that flowed between us which gave us both the confidence to look at a future with each other. I remember this one time, when we discussed children - funnily enough we both didn't seem too sure about whether we wanted to have children, and if we did, we had no idea when. But we both seemed to agree on what the child's name should be like and that seemed to be the most organic part of the conversation.

Fast forward - And Last month, we welcomed our little one to this world and we were definitely feeling a whole lot of things. There obviously was so much excitement to tell the world about his arrival and so we did with the expected post. 

(Oh yes. We had names for both cases and  I had two jpegs ready to be sent out! Me just being me!) 

So yes Neil Glynn David happened. 

It was a joy to see how most people appreciated the thought and was fun to see how it stirred things in some households. (With couples who have declared that they will have both their names in the next child's identity)

This was not a radical move or anything. It only felt natural. When a child is born, the fathers are excited and proud to see their names being attached to their off springs' identity. The mothers who are capable of feeling so much would definitely like that as well.

While growing up, I've asked my father the same about my name. As a young girl, I just couldn't figure out why my mother was not part of my official identity. At a later point, I remember my father actually telling me - ' I wish I'd known better and thought such things through.' That wave was good enough for me then. 

For us, this is like a step towards the world we hope to introduce Neil to. In some way his identity will make him understand what we believe in as individuals and as a team. In a way it might help him understand that everyone matters and he'll hopefully look at this world from that perspective. We hope this is a starting point of his beautiful journey where no kind of entitlement or stereotyping will be the norm. 

Neil,

May you play with whatever toy that pleases you, choose whatever that excites you, be with whomever you can connect to. 

May we or anyone never tell you that anything is too girly or manly for you. 

May we be able to protect you from anything or anyone who thinks otherwise. 

May we be able to show you things that matter. 

Love,

DnG

Learning things along the way is not the tough part. Unlearning things and letting go of ways that we got used to or crept into our system even without us realizing is the tough part. It is exhausting but I'm not giving up!

And to the very few who raised eyebrows at our baby's name and doesn't seem to connect to this - "Ah! what's in a name?"