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Is it Funny or just Naive?

Back in 2016, when I was gearing up to get married, I happened to be part of many conversations that were a little confusing. At that point, I also penned down my thoughts in a blog "You're Getting Married?!".   

Ever since, I've been observing conversations, patterns, and its implications with a lot more attention - just for me to make sense of it. A lot of the things said and done these days under the tag of sense of humor feels very unsettling to me - naive or snarky is what they happen to be more than often. 



From early on as a child, the idea of raising a kid came very naturally to me. Over the years I grew up envisioning a future that definitely had this aspect covered. And then something changed over the last 6 to 7 years. I started revisiting the idea very often. I went through all phases - planning according to my age and our finances (looks like I wasn't good at keeping up with my plan 😛), considering adoption or fostering to cite a few. But I knew that however scary it was, I wanted that aspect covered in the future I see for myself - someday - never daring to mark that day though!

And then one day, we came eye to eye with 2 pink lines. I was all over the place for multiple reasons. Once again, after about 3 years, I began hearing similar comments like I did back in 2016. Every such conversation definitely had a kind customary congratulations first and I'm sure everyone meant well in all respects - but still, I kept pondering over those comments. 
"Man I'm so happy for you guys. Enjoy this time, after that, it is all going to be over." - What exactly is getting over? 
"Are you serious? Like now? A baby!" - Is there a problem?
"Congratulations man! You take good care. Btw you know that X nah. She is going mad with her baby." - Mad? really?

I realized that involuntarily these jokes have contributed to developing a kind resistance to the whole idea in most of our minds. I could think of many people in my circle who had a growing resistance to many similar situations of life. 

We live in an era where commitment, trust, and responsibility are already the biggest fear and then when we have this kind of sense of humor - the mess just gets messier! I realized that I was revisiting the concept of a family in recent years because though not intentionally, the noise around was somewhere getting into my system and overwriting what I really wanted or the concepts I believed in. I realized I was all over the place when I saw the pink lines for similar reasons. 

I looked around for answers and the path forward. I found information on what to eat, how much to walk, what to buy, and so on. But there was nothing that mattered in the real sense. After 4 months of being pregnant, one fine day while watching Friends, there was a moment - something in my head rewired. From that moment till date, I've tried to embrace the journey as naturally as possible. I was not sick and nothing was ending. 

If there are two things I believe in and swear by, it would be -
1. Wake up today to be a better version of yourself than yesterday.
2. Your commitment to love your life has to be greater than your desire to love your life.

When David and I entered this phase, there were very few to tell us about how amazing it would be ahead. People most often focus on the inconveniences - it is not intentional but a domain with scope for major unlearning. 

Be it a new job, getting married, having a baby, buying a home, migrating - with every such situation, sure a lot changes. But these changes can happen to our life only if we choose them. The thing to be careful of here is that the choice has to be yours and based on your evolving mind - not based on casual statements or comments we've been hearing over and over. 

If we don’t get out there and define things for ourselves, you’ll be quickly and inaccurately defined by others. 

We all love the fall season. And that exists because things change. 

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Comments

  1. Minimal LinaOctober 7, 2020 at 6:22 AM

    Absolutely! Really liked and resonated with this. Your such a wonderful mother and inspiring woman !��

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Desert RoseOctober 7, 2020 at 9:21 AM

      Means a lot Lina! Glad you could connect. Cheers!

      Delete

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