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Do you have Pla..?

It is strange how the things you planned with all your effort become a bundle of everything you either need to fix, let go or learn from. In my life, such orchestrated seasons have given me minimal victory and I saw my energy being dispersed than used. 

I keep returning to a certain phase of my life for which I spent significant years planning and prepping. I imagined it to be the game changer - well, it did change the game, just not as per my plan! I can now see how when I got to the destination, I felt like I had landed and became complacent. Even better is how often complacency is topped up by distraction.
It was a season made possible by my determination and planning but was tainted with privilege and distracted energy. 

In the ongoing season, I again planned a course of action for myself. I saw that the course still took turns this time, but I glided by better. 
It was a season once again made possible by my determination and future vision but I kept it open to everything that could make it better and happier. 


Source: https://in.pinterest.com


This is such a tough one for me considering my focus on charting things and wanting to know how it will culminate. Coming to a point where you can plan and yet be okay with whatever is the sequel is an ongoing journey.

For example - I enjoy cooking, so I always prefer to get my apron dirty than order in. But being rigid with my process, short notice would get me all worked up. I functioned better when I got to know at least a week earlier about such plans. Now I'm great with a 24-hour heads up. The reality is that I do the same things then and now!

In the initial years of becoming truly aware of myself, I was conflicted about categorising my planning gene - was it good, bad, or too much?
There were phases - at least there was no denial anymore!
First, I thought - Hey, look at them! They get it all sorted, and nothing works out for me despite all the agenda. *No more planning so* 
Then I woke without any sense of direction - Oh, c'mon! Yea, I need a little something to lean on and hustle, so why not? *Taming the wild planner spirit to stay satisfied with shorter sprints* 
And, then one day I thought - I have a way forward in mind, and I'll give it a shot. If it works, great and if not, I'll chart the next. *I'll plan with room for more*

I've read somewhere - Plans are nothing. Planning is everything.

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