Being the ‘she’ in my country – Tough task!

This piece is not the result of the ‘feminist’ or ‘activist’ in me. It is the thoughts running in the mind of a ‘baffled girl’ as a result of the recent epidemic of ‘rape’ that India is fighting or rather staring at.“A society that is unable to respect, protect and nurture its women and children loses its moral moorings and runs adrift.”

Her journey starts from the womb. The first task is to be able to step into this world without being killed because the number of female fetuses which don’t make it run in millions. Even before conception, they utter prayers, make vows, observe fasts, bow before this or that divinity, all so they might not remain childless or burdened with the debit side of the account – the girl child. 

Now once she makes it to this world, she turns out to be the ‘treasure’ nobody wants and her interests are often subordinated to those of the real treasure, the male sibling. Her nutritional and educational needs, like her emotional needs, are made subservient to those of her brother. The male offspring gets the last glass of milk; money to study abroad; he gets the house. She gets the second-best, the dowry as a farewell gift, and the push. Till marriage, it is according to parents. After marriage, it is according to ‘him’ and ‘parents’. Because that is when ‘she’ becomes the good girl. 

On top of all this to live in a society where her safety is close to nil even in broad daylight and everyone is just staring and not doing anything about it. She spends every single day being scared of if something unfair and hard will happen. Fear of violence is an important factor in the lives of most women and it sometimes is even before birth, some times in the adulthood and other phases of life.

Most of my friends reading this might think that a lot has changed and that we don’t go through all this. Well, we belong to that lucky lot that has come quite a long way but trust me, in a country of a billion, the majority is still for those who don’t feel too good for being the ‘she’.

Sexual assaults in India have been increasing for many years, but the fatal gang rape of a woman on a New Delhi bus pushed the issue to the top of the national agenda. A few days media had enough to celebrate but after that? Did justice that was deserved find its way? And the interesting part is that ever since then it seems like it has increased than any time before. With all its glories, India can keep this too – a rape occurs every 20 minutes in this nation. 

‘It is getting better; these things take time.’ This is the most general statement. Notice, ‘It’ is not even named; it is she and her suffering. So basically ‘it’ is not getting better instead is getting worse – Realize.

What is the point if there is nothing that can be done to ensure that our girls are safe on public roads and public transport at least in broad daylight? I just can’t help but wish that our law system punished at least a few as brutally as some other nations would. It would maybe invoke some fear in at least a few of them.

And of course if what happens to women on the roads of our country is to stop, the change will have to come first at home, from the family. A lot of how India will be in the future will depend on how one half of the population will treat the other half and also on the lessons from parents and teachers.

GPS and CCTVs, after all, cannot track what goes inside homes and the minds of men; they can only make our streets a bit safer.

The Vedas and other books glorified women as the mother, the creator, one who gives life and worshipped her as a ‘Devi' or Goddess. But their glorification was rather mythical for at the same time, in India women are totally suppressed and subjugated in a patriarchal society.