Mangalyam Tantunanena

Situation: Guy almost 30. Matrimonial websites. Photographs *woot*. Details *deciphering the good family*. Call. Meet. Say “yes” over tea, coffee, snacks or whatever. Then go back home and complain about the taste of things served there before going ahead with the wedding preparations. (Oh and the best part, every tom, dick and harry has the right to judge the girl by her looks and the family by the salt or masala in the food served!)

We all know what I’m writing about. Yes. One thing that has always been held high by India like a shining trophy – the institution of marriage and customs that believe in tethering two people together for life. 

Alert: This is not the usual – Which is better? Arranged or love. No that’s not the point.

The Biting Wit

• If you have a daughter and a son, you expect your daughter to be given all the freedom as far as career, fashion, lifestyle etc. are concerned but you want your son to bring home someone who will take care of the household.
• The term dowry being conveniently replaced by ‘gifts’. “No we didn’t ask for anything.” Yes you don’t have to because somehow most of the brides have parents who find joy in giving, giving and giving.
• Go to a wedding and comment about why they had to spend so much and pretend to be the kind who believes you should help the poor instead. But as soon as wedding bells ring at your doorstep, find something that would make your event look better than the one you last attended.
• Our ancestors probably chose to arrange their children’s weddings with the notion that if they marry them in good families (qualities of ‘good family’ largely remain unknown till date, so it’s basically based on hunch), since good families are expected to produce good sons who are undoubtedly supposed to make good husbands. Same goes for girls. (I think that’s enough history for us.)
• The system that works in India is a great deal of trust in the choices of one’s parents. It’s the confidence that parents not only love their children but that they also have more wisdom and can make a better decision. Sounds fine! But letting every other known-to have an opinion - Too many cooks will simply spoil the broth!

The Intriguing Misconception.

Any such article is to prove that love marriages are better than arranged ones. NO. As I said, that is not the point. Because they are not opposites but just 2 kinds. It works differently for different people.

The point is we fail our moral system everyday and never get tired of being pretentious. While I am more than glad to be born in the land of saints and sages and had my mind fully stuffed with all the morals at a tender age, I was caught by surprise when I realized about the hollowness of the whole so-praised-by-west value system of ours. 

It just explores the idea that maybe it’s time for us to act upon those morals that have been fed profusely and marry not based on money or requirement for the household. Try love for a change, or maybe compatibility if not anything else!

P.S: This is definitely not how everyone behaves and I am not generalising. Incidents I have been observing around lately left me no choice but to blog.

P.P.S: Great Indian wedding scam has been in action for a long while and still going strong!